Tag Archives: stories

On asking for directions

27 Nov

My last couple of weeks in Bangalore taught me a few things about Indians.

Most interestingly, no one in Bangalore appears to know anything about any location more than a few kilometres outside of their current position. They don’t understand maps, nor have they heard of any of the landmarks mentioned as “major”.

This however, is much less of a problem than one might think. Everyone here appears to be used to asking and giving directions. A friend hilariously pointed out that “9 out of 10 people asking for directions in New York are Indians”.

Whenever I want to get somewhere I just call the person at my destination and hand the phone over the auto-rickshaw driver.

And then smile at the subsequent 5 minute conversation.

Crazy behaviour

Now I might think it is a bit crazy, but the Indians apparently think I am crazy for thinking a cup of strong coffee in the evening might keep me up at night. Or that a cold shower in the morning is better than no shower at all.

(You’ll get sick! And then when I do, with any disease – “See! It’s those cold showers!”)

I’ve been collecting these random bits of information – things which people continue to believe despite evidence to the contrary, like:

The stories we tell ourselves

These examples are interesting to me because they make up part of the story we tell ourselves of our lives. That we are being good to our kids by not giving them sugar. And being healthy by not eating saturated fats.

They remind me about how much we live our lives on auto-pilot – acting as we have been born and taught to act – most of the time without even realising.

I love this perfect example, of a woman who used to cut off the corner of her meat before placing it in a baking dish. She never thought about why. Turned out she’d been taught by her mother to do that because her mother’s baking dish was too small to fit the entire piece of meat.

I’ve been of two minds about all this for some time now. Perhaps we just don’t have a choice about running on auto-pilot. Perhaps genetics plays more of a significant role than we would like to admit. Or maybe it’s just that with many significant life decisions, we often don’t get a second chance.

This article about the work of a prominent neuro-scientist certainly put a new spin on all of this for me –

If our sense of control is built on an unreliable account from automatic brain processes, how much control do we really have? Are there thresholds of responsibility, for instance, that can be determined by studying neural circuits?

Woah, hold up.

Now we have a neuroscientist telling us we can’t be responsible for our own actions?

Not quite. He has his own, non-scientific take:

Like generosity and pettiness, like love and suspiciousness, responsibility is what he calls a “strongly emergent” property — a property that, though derived from biological mechanisms, is fundamentally distinct and obeys different laws, as do ice and water.

Moral to this story?

The philosophy and science behind our actions are interesting, for sure. And should continue to be pursued. But they still do not provide us with an excuse for not taking responsibility for our lives.

So until we can be sure, I’m going to keep questioning – asking (and looking) for direction!

Why I love Q&A (or, the value of Audience Participation)

28 Feb

Last year I went with my brother to Q&A – a panel show on the ABC. It was held at the Opera House and they had an outstanding panel from the Festival of Dangerous Ideas (a brilliant event in itself!).

The format of the show involves a panel of speakers, usually spruiking a new book or particular political agenda who form the panel. Audience members send in questions before which are screened as conversation starters. Audience members may also ask spontaneous questions throughout the show, or those at home can play by using the twitter hashtag #qanda.*

I think there are a couple of reasons why this format is successful.

It gives people the opportunity to think

I read up on each of the panellists before the show. I read a little of the pre-prepared material that the ABC sent me and did some of my own research. I came in with a much better understanding of the topics than I would have otherwise. I also thought of questions that I could ask during the show (although I never would have – I’d much rather have kittens!). It made me feel engaged with the topic, and with the show. And it made me question what I thought of the topic – not just what the panellists thought.

I’ve been inspired for a similar reason by “The Update, The Vent and The Noisy” from Rands in Repose (Johanna Rothman makes a similar point here). In essence:

“Business is noisy. Business is full of people worrying loudly about projects, process, and other people. These people have opinions and they share them all over the place — all the time. This collective chatter is part of the daily regimen of a healthy business, but this chatter will bury the individual voice unless someone pays attention.”

If you don’t give people the opportunity to have their say and think about what is going on around them, often they won’t feel that they can.

Audience participation is fun.

The twitter feed has a lot to answer for. The ABC post a running feed of all sorts of tweets at the bottom of the screen – from serious all the way to downright stupid. It always makes me (and often the panel!) laugh about the topic.

When something goes wrong at work, or when someone is not pleased about something that we have done, sometimes I try and introduce audience participation by making a stupid joke of it. This might sound ridiculous, but I’ve noticed two things about this method.

Firstly, I work with overachievers who are pretty hard on themselves anyway. I do not have to tell them to pick up their game. They do not often make mistakes. Helping them laugh at their mistakes makes them realise that it can be good to make mistakes – it helps them learn and get better at their job. More than that, it proves that their job could not be done by a team of highly skilled robots. (Besides, it is often not the mistake that is the issue, everyone makes mistakes. More it is the way that it is handled).

The second thing is that the joke turns the mistake into a story, which gets told. The audience participation stops other people from making the same mistake. And people want to add to the story, because it usually is pretty funny, which makes them think about it differently.

The point being, of course, that everyone loves a good story!

*(I'd link to it, but twitter is down. Just type #qanda into the search bar)

Lessons from a friend (or, the value of story-telling)

22 Feb

One of my friends is a nickname fanatic. Everyone has a nickname. His favourite people have many nicknames, and many deviations of said nicknames.

He is a master story teller, and his stories often get sidetracked by a (sometimes long) tangent into how or why a particular person got the nickname that they got.

Which of course, adds to the overall storytelling.

Stories bring us together.

In my kayaking club we sometimes go away for the weekend and spend the evening around the campfire. Stories are told about adventures of the day and from the club’s long history. It gives new paddlers the opportunity to bond with people in the club, by learning the vernacular of the group they are with (not to mention people’s real names).

We are the stories we tell ourselves. They form our culture.

These stories remind people in the club that they are adventurous individuals. They totally ‘do’ fun. And that tomorrow they will go out and do it all again. And that when they get a nickname, and their own story, they belong.

One of my favourite HBR articles is this one on culture. At one company, there was a famous story about a woman who came home early from her wedding to work. And how if the company wanted their culture to change, they had to stop telling this story.

(Also, fascinatingly, kids surrounded by kids who like vegetables are more likely to like vegetables).

Stories can effectively convey a message.

We can learn a lot more from people who convey their learnings through a story. Two powerful examples in my recent life: the books Banker to the Poor and Eating Animals. (Eating animals is just as inhumane to the individual that had to do the killing as it was to the animal, and microloans are all about providing people with Daniel Pink’s three keys of motivation: Autonomy, Mastery and Purpose).

Put even more simply, it is hard not to reconsider (or even love) a group of people that puts enough thought into coming up with a special name and story, just for you. They are conveying their message of appreciation for you.

And who doesn’t want that.

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